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The Nine Pillars
14 December 2007 @ 07:47 pm
That said, you are not your character, oh oafish one. My primary player character may well be interested in yours, but that is fiction. Happy funtime imagination game territory. Do you understand? If not, let me explain!

My character is female, for one; I, last I checked, was not.

Furthermore, I'm happily involved, so you can feel free to shove straight off anytime you wish.

I've had more than my fill of obnoxious half-wits cluttering up my board and drooling idiocy across my kitchen table. This latest display of short-bus special behaviour is the candied-in-arsenic cherry on top of the great big damned hemlock sundae of fail.

You are you. Your character is your character. You are not a vampire. I doubt that one of the Turelim could type as coherently as you...sometimes...can. They're tridactyls, after all.

(Which reminds me: if your character is as old as he says he is, he would not be "ruggedly handsome" any more. Quite the opposite, in fact. The only way your claim would be funnier is if you'd made your PC one of the Zephonim, you half-wit.)

Please stop acting as if you were your character. This is not a LARP, nor is it a 'let's see who can stay in character the longest, ooh!' competition of some sort. You are not your character. (If your real name were Rathknell Darkken, I would feel so very very sorry for you, by the by.)

Finally, do not tell newcomers who they can and cannot play. If our newbie wants to apply to be Melchiah, she is allowed. It does not matter one whit, bucko, that some guy who done you wrong also done played Melchiah, and the bad memories are just too much for you to bear, and they are crawling in your skin, and these wounds, they will not heal. It does not matter, either, that she is a woman wanting to play a man. I am a man who plays a female character. You seem not to have much difficulty with that concept.

But I digress.

You are not a moderator on this board, and you are unlikely to ever be one...you cataclysmically-unstable little flake-pastry of a man, you.

Bugger off if you cannot wise up, please and thank you.

Current Mood: irritatedirritated
The Nine Pillars
04 December 2007 @ 10:05 pm
Attention customers:

"The blue one" is not a number, and neither is "shirt".

Okay, fine, it was ass-rapingly early, but that was a bit non sequitur, I think.

The Nine Pillars
04 December 2007 @ 09:49 pm
I KAN HAZ CAPS U GUYZ YEAH my smashed-in-car-door hand isn't swollen to hell anymore yyyyeeeeaahahahh. It's sick-ass purple in places, but I can move it, and I can type like a literate non-teen-age-hipster-dumb-ass. w007

Yeah I should cut this because I swear too fucking much. bitch bitch biiiitchhhhhCollapse )
Current Mood: bitchyshuuuuuut the fuuuuck up
The Nine Pillars
02 December 2007 @ 02:14 pm
i can't play touhou with one hand! fuck the car.

The Nine Pillars
02 December 2007 @ 01:49 pm
two of 'em. yours, and now, mine. (ahahahdgdf. raziel. you bitch.)

v's and mel's can wait until they're home and they can breathe all over my head and pick pictures.

what the shit did you feed the cats they reek.

Current Mood: fuck yeah
The Nine Pillars
02 December 2007 @ 12:12 pm
What are you passionate about?

Your mother. That's what I'm wild about. Suck that, livejournal. Oh zing.

Huh. What am I passionate about? My games, my friends, my partner. Not having my ankles lacerated by Macavity because the little bastard thinks that's how you show your love. I'm certainly not 'wild about' the smell of ear-cheese. Or Reginbrand sticking his cigarettes through his 00 tunnels to demonstrate that you CAN stick a cigarette through the middle of a 00 tunnel. What in the hell.

Have any of you ever had your cat try to stick his paw through your ear just for the joy of the agonized screaming it will definitely elicit? Yeah, it hurts like a blue bastard. I didn't think that any man without extensive voice training or without testicles could make the noise I did this morning. Macavity, you little bastard.

Grinch only pretends she's innocent. She's not. She has gas. Cat flatulence is a vile toxic fucking substance, and even though it snowed last night, and I may well freeze my fundament off, I have the window open so I don't suffocate. Cats are friendly when they stink.

I'm passionate about the fact that the toaster is broken in that I want to hurl the damn thing out the window. We bought it a month ago. I don't know who did what to it, and I don't care, so that should nip any finger pointing in the bud. We'll just take it back. It was probably a manufacturer's defect.

Like your mom.

...I feel like an emo teenager on MySpace. One wearing his sister's skinny jeans. And a T-Shirt featuring the logo of a band that no one has ever heard of.

BRAIN WAVE: I should make T-Shirts like that. I'll make up a good amount of fake band names, buy some iron-on transfers, ask Reg to draw up a few logos, print them out, and make like the domestic man-whore I am. Then I'll sell them on CafePress to the unawares, and to the awares with a sense of humour or irony.

Fuck, yes. Riches and luxury, here I come!

If only I weren't so fucking lazy!

lolololololol f1rst p0st insert penis bird lol.

I feel so fucking EMO. We have a LIVEJOURNAL. I need to make a really fucking-asshole post somewhere accepting of fucking-asshole posts.

I also need to pester Reg to make us icons so people can tell us apart, and not climb up Mel's rectum for something I said, or harass Vii for something I said, or - yes, I'm the one most likely to piss people off, whether they're sensitive little teen-aged wasteland whiners or whether they're sensible, sane, mature adults.

EDIT: fuck, I forgot to sign this bitch.

-Korbinian, master of baiting!
Current Mood: i hunger for assmeats
Current Music: Macavity gurgling a sweet murderous love song to my ankle